Arcanthus

general exitement

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 14:39:52 GMT

I've decided to get into the christmas spirit and provide you all with 'what I did for 15 minutes today'.

At work, I was pleasantly surprised to find this sign:

This both excited and aroused me, so I scanned it in and knocked up this template, as a precursor to turning it into my new desktop background.

If anybody can tell me where to buy these things, I'll post again waxing lyrical about how awesome you are. You haven't experienced true lyrical wax until you've experienced my lyrical wax.

edit: current version is here. cheap but effective.

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:48:15 GMT

Dear Diary,

You're flammable. Remember that.

Due to quite unpopular demand:

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:01:16 GMT

This is what I'm reduced to in the absence of pipecleaners.

Feel free to admire the clean desk and glowing fry.

Abort! Abort! My kingdom for abort!

Sat, 30 Jun 2007 20:40:40 GMT

Year 10 maths: A very educational subject.
(Apologies to those who've seen it before. and everybody else.)

end

Wed, 16 May 2007 07:25:58 GMT

So, until the current mania at work dies down and we get more of a chance for slacking (and a supply of suitable pipecleaners), that ends it. Looks like we'll have to resort to setting fire to things.

bigman

Wed, 02 May 2007 05:22:39 GMT

I'm bored, so here we have the

Bigman was twice the size of normal stickmen, and was full of life. However, he went off the rails at an early age, getting overly rowdy with his smaller and more delicate peers.

Soon this degenerated into full scale bullying, terrorising the district with his very large fists of fury!

After this, he just continued down the spiral of drugs, whores, and taking hostages at gunpoint.

What drama lies ahead in the life of bigman? What further depths can he sink to? What depravities are left to commit?

We'll find out tomorrow!

But in the meantime, have this

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 11:07:04 GMT

Somebody Buy Me Some Goddamn Fish.

And Tools/Materials.

...Also, some work ethic would be nice.

...I may resize them if I get bored.

Tue, 13 Mar 2007 05:28:28 GMT

and while I'm here,

The lesson to take from all this is that communists will always get the best monitors.

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 07:15:56 GMT

So, according to wikipedia, the instructions on a box in my cupboard, and some very vague maths, it would take about 26.8 quadrillion tonnes of gelatine to turn the entire ocean into jelly.

Going by the current world production of gelatine, this would take a tad under 90 billion years to produce.

Looks like my current plans to become a supervillain will either have to be put on hold, or downgraded to a smaller body of water...

Work: The Only Topic I Currently Have

Sun, 14 Jan 2007 11:18:53 GMT

So, boredom leads to you all being tortured with something I find vaguely interesting.

First we have the human sacrifice...

Then we have the required closeup of bukkaketree,

Then we have GIANT INVASION OHNOES!

And then, finally, we have The Rather Large Pic Of Lose:

So, since the addition of new pipecleaners to the mix, I'm giving it a week before the boss actually notices and thieves them all in the name of productivity. We'll have to make the most of them while they last.

Mon, 08 Jan 2007 07:42:49 GMT

There are some tins in my cupboard which I discovered today. I dont know where they're from, and neither do the other occupants of this house.
However, one of them - 'Young Coconut Juice With Jelly' - provided me with hours of amusement:

One day I'm going to thailand, just to laugh at the hilarious names.

The cool are always generous.

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 05:32:55 GMT

I want a Lava Lamp Window, and I will pay the sum of ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS to the first person who builds me a working model.

Failing that, I might be generous enough to offer similar benefits for a Lava Lamp Fish Tank. Either way it would be cool.

Nativity Scene

Wed, 03 Jan 2007 04:09:15 GMT

So, a bit before christmas, I managed to finally get my hands on that cheap digicam I've been waiting for. To commemorate this occasion, here's a snippet of pipecleaner people giving birth.

I can't say I love work, but I love the extreme lapses in good taste that we get away with.

So, suggestions of what to photograph before the novelty wears off are welcome. Those whose suggestions are obscene, untoward, or boring will be soundly and publicly humiliated.

That will be all!

Thu, 14 Dec 2006 06:37:16 GMT

I'm starting to get the impression that the only reason the dog hasn't killed me yet is because I can open the fridge.

Paranoia: The permanent solution to boredom.

Tue, 05 Dec 2006 11:09:17 GMT

Dear daylight savings,
GTFO.

Regards,
Matthew.

More importantly, is there an archive of beer ads anywhere? As far as my memory serves, most beer commercials on TV weren't that interesting until, at some point when I was in early highschool, Carlton really raised the bar with their Carlton Mid Ads. Then, of course, most big companies launched different-but-surprisingly-similar-idea campaigns, appealing to the same sense of humour. These days, they seem to mostly have noticeably different campaigns, but they're still quite entertaining. I don't know what the turning point was, but I'd be quite interested if there's a site out there with copies of them all and the order they came out in.
If not, it may be time to start one.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 09:50:00 GMT

In other news,

Sat, 18 Nov 2006 08:24:50 GMT

If these planes dont cease flying overhead soon, I will be forced to throw rocks at them.

Shouting expletives and making rude gestures doesn't seem to have worked.

It's that time again!

Mon, 13 Nov 2006 09:46:32 GMT

Next bulk rubbish collection for nedlands/subi is around the 4th of december (just before they start picking it up), and since it's the end of the year it'll be a big one. Anybody with a car after decent free stuff should apply to me directly, since it's also too warm for me to enjoy collecting on foot.

Also, I hear cottesloe has bulk rubbish over the next three weeks, starting for one area TODAY. Anybody who wishes to go roaming, the next few weekends are a great time - especially since cottesloe tends to have huge wads of computer bits left out.

Come on, it's a chance to furnish your house and go go through somebody's garbage at the same time - what have you got to lose?

Discovery of the day:

Wed, 01 Nov 2006 07:22:20 GMT

Futurama gets you free beer.
That will be all.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 04:09:21 GMT

According to vague-but-conservative-estimates based on unverified data, there are now enough Home and Away episodes to fill almost two months of constant television - assuming about 20 minutes of actual content an episode.

This has got to be the scariest statistic I've heard all week. Even scarier than the statistics with clowns in them.

Of course, just to take things to a horrific new level, Neighbours comes in with a an 11-day lead in content...of which I've so far managed to see exactly none of. It actually kind of scares me that almost all this has been produced in my lifetime.

Investigative journalism: bullshit.

Tue, 24 Oct 2006 07:07:04 GMT

Minor update to the holiday thingie:
Late breaking news, it seems that its run by Holiday Club Pacific, and is mostly linked to a bunch of resorts and, most of all, timeshare. There are a few instances of them turning up at expos (most notably Sexpo), but I cant track down a single account of anybody taking up their offer, deciding NOT to take up their offer, or even caring in the slightest.

Man, I need more to do with my time..or the same amount to do, but with a 20% increase in the coolness value. Back to pondering the sexual deviancies and brothel business plans.

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 15:37:39 GMT

You know, I once ate a live buffalo.

True story.

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 07:31:59 GMT

Today, I opened up the old Nokia 2280 to check its innards (more specifically, serial numbers)...and it started working again, after months of apparently being irrepairable.

This is of course GREAT news...slightly dampened by the fact that, this very morning, I paid for a replacement mobile of the same model. So as of next week or so - assuming this one keeps working - I'll be sporting a spare perfectly-working-and-probably-telstra-locked 2280. This will be palmed off onto a family member, if they want it...or anybody else who has a pressing need of an old CDMA phone to keep them going.

Ah, those silly laws of chance and their silly ways.

A question:

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 08:45:24 GMT

Thisafternoon I got a call from the 'Holiday Club' in fremantle, who offered me a free holiday to thailand (worth $1200) for free - as long as I attend a 90-minute presentation first. Of couse, since it sounded like a standard scam, I said no - despite his surprisingly reasonable explanations as to why they sounded scammy when (of course) they weren't.

However, During a brief search online I was unable to dredge up much about them aside from
Holiday Club Pty Ltd
6 Collie St Fremantle 6160
(08) 9430 4366
, a possibly-linked website with nothing about the specific offer (from here), and a lot of information about general holiday scams.

So, anybody here heard anything about them, good or otherwise? And more importantly, if I happen to ring them back Monday and attempt to extract a guarantee from a salesperson that the offer is completely honest and has no hidden fees, what would be the best way to record the phonecall? I have no answering machine, no speakerphone, and no recorders that'll accept audio input from a phoneline. Setting up a computer to record would be fun but time consuming. At the moment, I'm leaning towards Skype Out due to its relative simplicity to record...

Tue, 22 Aug 2006 15:41:14 GMT

I must be sleeping in some weirdly contortive way lately, because several times I've woken up in the morning in a position that involves having absoluely no feeling (or blood) in my arms. Being unable to use my arms for a few minutes would be bad enough, but it tends to be made worse by the fact that my alarm is very loud and on the other side of the room...so it involves me staggering out of bed and flailing blindly for a button with arms that can only be moved from the shoulder. While not how I'd choose to start the day, its certainly a more creative one than I'm used to.

I really should read the manual on sleeping sometime.